Self-inflicted broken heart.

Funny how that goes sometimes.

There's something quieter than sleep

I had to go to school today to work on a project. Not fun. However, I took advantage of being on that side of town during daylight hours to stop by the little cemetery I once lived near. It is one of my most favorite places in the world. My sister and I spent hours in this cemetery when we were small, playing among the trees and old headstones. The fact that it houses the remains of hundreds of people long-dead never bothered us. To me, cemeteries are beautiful and peaceful. And, really, isn't that the way they should be?


Don't get me wrong, I probably wouldn't go walking through a cemetery alone at night, but that has less to do with the fact that it's a cemetery and more to do with the fact that I am (a little bit) afraid of the dark.

This last photo is Lottie's headstone. I don't know who she was, but I have to say hello whenever I make a trip to the cemetery. Her grave is in a quiet corner under some old trees. She was a married woman of 21 when she died in 1903 and I think this is why I am drawn to her. I try to imagine what she was like and what her life was all about. I have a feeling she was pretty cool.

Overshare

It is disconcerting when you find yourself verbalizing all kinds of things you have never spoken aloud before. Especially when you are speaking to someone that you don't know very well and you realize that the words falling out of your mouth sound crazy and there is not a single thing you can do to stop them. Until today, I had never experienced this. Now, sitting at home and thinking about it, not only is my behavior bizarre, it is also rather humiliating.

There are just some days I wish I could do over.

Lovebunny

The most perfect necklace in the world:

I cannot explain my rabbit mania. It could have something to do with my recent re-reading of the adventures of Fiver and Hazel in Watership Down, though I feel like this yearning for bunnies stretches further back in time. I have been on the hunt for the perfect rabbit necklace and this one from Anthropologie feels like the right one. So that I can continue to provide myself with food and shelter, I will just have to dream about wearing this rabbit round my neck until it goes on sale. (Damn you, basic necessities!)

Hope is the thing with feathers

It is amazing when a single thing changes one's entire state of mind and turns a black day into a day happily remembered. Yesterday was a day like that. I was depressed because I thought I wasn't going to be able to go home for Christmas and this, combined with the prospect of a weekend full of studying and writing papers, made my mood a dismal one. But then I had a lovely conversation with one of my new school friends and it changed everything. In an instant, really. And I'm grateful for it.


For me, there is nothing worse than a day empty of dreams or possibility. But those days fall upon everyone once in awhile. And those days suck. I guess my point to all this is: those days end. And often in unexpected ways. So stay hopeful.

Lazy Sunday

Last night I had a peculiar dream. It was the kind of dream that leaves one feeling haunted upon waking. Most notably, it included: seeking shelter in a leaf-strewn alley, people from my past that I try not to think about in real life, and jellyfish. Giant jellyfish slowly surfacing as I watched from the shore. I think the appearance of jellyfish may have come from the annoying balloon boy story that has taken over the media in the last few days. That silly balloon looks a bit like a jellyfish. But I don't know...

I found this picture here: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/634102

I have been thinking about this blog for a long time and intended to start it in a very different way, but today seems right, even though I haven't much to say. It will be a quiet day. The sky is full of rain clouds and I will be indoors, engaging in the following activities:

• Drinking too much coffee


• Ignoring homework until the last possible second


• Making squash soup


• Dreaming about the perfect, cross-body bag


• Watching my dog sleep